The Agony Of Living With Simon Snow
by TyphonicGhost
Summary: Simon has decided to go off in the dorm, again, and Baz is quite angry about it, again. Basically, take a look as the two have an average couple days. Warning: I do not own anything from Carry On, I only own my words, slight cursing Thank you, enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Baz groaned looking over the scene laid out before him. The sun was tinkling through the window, sending electric shocks through his pale skin.

The room he shared with Simon bloody Snow was covered head to toe in mess and Baz decided he would not bring himself to cleaning it again. This was the third time this week something like this had happened. Simon went off while he and Penelope were in the room alone together (Baz knew about Penelope's frequent visits quite thoroughly but he found it amusing when they thought they were being all sneaky under his nose) thus creating this utter mess.

Baz turned over in his bed, now facing the wall and not bringing himself to look at this mess. His black locks now faced the sleeping Snow as they scattered along his grey pillow. It was too early in the morning for this ruckus and he should kill Simon for this ludicrous insanity… but he never could. Simon Snow might have been the worst chosen one anyone had ever heard of but he was a chosen one none the less. Baz knew Simon would kill him one day, him being a dangerous, blood sucking vampire and all, but he still wished and prayed he could beat the blond to the punch. It seemed impossible, it seemed insane, but Baz liked to keep the thought in his head every once and awhile. They said vampires could never breach Watford's walls and that managed to happen right? The thought of life was a comfort to him, keeping him tied to the thought of never dying or having to live to die at the hands of Simon bloody Snow. To die at his hands, there for the mage's hands, was pathetic and would disgrace any normal Pitch family member. Yet… this was still inevitable.

Small snores called from behind Baz, signaling that Simon would wake soon, open his crystal blue eyes, and he would be completely oblivious to the mess he had caused in their poor dorm room. Baz grumbled something in an annoyed fashion.

 _"_ _That boy will never make it out in the real world without some help… he will never stand to live alone, the git."_ Baz grumbled within his head. He turned again; he was exhausted, emotionally drained from coming back to the dorm to see this mess last night, and downright sick of Simon Snow. This time as he turned he managed to turn straight onto his face, burying his features into his pillow with a shuffle.

Baz heard the floor boards creek and he smelled the scent of Simon move out of the parallel bed and to the closet at the foot of the beds. The raven haired boy smelled his cinnamon sent waft from the closet to the bathroom, obviously going to shower and change. Normal routine of Simon Snow and Baz Pitch at seven something in the morning. Baz almost growled, still pissed about the mess and the utter trouble that was being caused, which he had to admit looking back on it was a slight over reaction. He didn't particularly want Snow to see him so vulnerable a second time today so he propped himself up on his shoulders and swung himself to sit on the bed with his legs hanging forwards off the bed frame.

Baz pouted for a moment, snatching up his wand from the end table (one of the only pieces of furniture to almost make it out alive from the tornado named Snow) and quickly casting **now you see me, now you don't!** Onto himself to get him to the closet with ease.

Silver, hollow grey, eyes peered into the closet, grabbing his uniform and tie with a swift movement. The bathroom door cracked open behind him, revealing a shirtless Simon Snow. Baz glared at the scene and simply folded his clothes over his arm and took three long strides to get past Snow and into the special bathroom they shared. Simon rolled his eyes at the boy and walked back to his bed, flopping on to the crooked mattress hanging off of the frame. Baz slammed the bathroom door with a huff.

It was too early for this mess, it was too early for this chaos, and it was too early for Baz Pitch to see his long time enemy and crush shirtless and damp from the shower.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Simon looked to Baz.

"What?" Simon asked, carefully walking to his dresser. Baz began to regain his composure through a glare he shot at Simon.

"Look at this mess!"

"It's not _that_ bad."

"It's atrocious. Utterly atrocious," Baz returned as Simon rummaged through his uniforms for an accidentally misplaced tie. Simon rolled his eyes.

"If you think it's that bad just use a spell like every other time!"

"I am not cleaning it this time."

"You know I can't clean this alone!"

"Yes. Yes you can if you just try the slightest bit. I have football practice anyway and if I don't get going I'll be late," Baz said with a sneer as he finished tying his own tie. Simon sat on his bed and pouted, staring at Baz as he moved along the mess. Baz made sure to not look into his eyes. He knew better than to look at Simon's puppy face for too long or he'd do whatever the blond wanted. Those blue eyes that were the color of the sky but sparkled like the sea would almost certainly stare right through him.

"Please Baz! You know if I try a spell it'll just make it worse!" Simon groaned as Baz began tying up his long black hair.

"Then clean it by hand, I don't care. I know you have nothing to do today!"

"How would you even know that?"

"It's Saturday and Bunce is out with her family."

"How do you know that?"

"You left a note about it on the desk," Baz hissed as he slung his football bag over his shoulder. Simon pouted harder.

"Don't you dare leave this room before you tidy it up."

"'Tidy it up'," Simon mimicked, " I'm going to miss breakfast!"

"You can't even get to the door anyways," Baz muttered, pulling out his wand. He quickly cast the same teleportation spell on himself to disappear and reappear by the door.

"Have fun, Snow!" Baz said, pretending to be happily with a smirk. He walked out with the smug look and Simon sighed.

"Well this is going to be awful."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Simon looked over the wreckage from his outburst of the previous day with a groan. The dorm's bookshelf was overturned, spilling its contents throughout the room and the desks seemed to have piled themselves in the right corner. The only parts of the room that were spared were the beds, which had luckily been out of the blast range. He had needed to straighten up up Baz's bed slightly because the mattress had been pulled off of its frame. It had felt odd to touch the grey sheets that had been in the room since year one, sure they had always been here and whenever he saw grey sheets out in the world he felt at home but he hand managed to never touch them in his years of living with them.

The blond didn't seem to move for hours as he thought about where to start on the mess, even if it was really only about ten decided to start by piling all of the smaller objects on his bed so he could move the desks and the other pieces of large furniture. How he was going to move those, he had no idea at all. If Baz had just stayed put he could have helped saying he was probably stronger than him. He began to try to push the shared bookshelf, to surprisingly easy result. He figured it was much lighter because of its lack of contents.

Simon continued to clean, thinking gloomily about the breakfast he missed and how he could be outside with Penny in the sun. He could be watching football practice, or hell he could even be taking a test and he'd be happier. Anything sounded better than cleaning. He decided after pushing the second desk into place he would take a break to look outside at the football field. He swung himself onto the top of his desk and propped his elbows on the windowsill with a grumpy look. He glared out the window at the football team doing warm ups. He felt his eyes drag to Baz with a slightly softer look. Simon felt himself smile slightly. Sure he hated Baz, but he had always admired how hard Baz worked.

Simon felt hypnotized as he watched Baz until he felt glum all over. He looked at Baz's face, accidentally making eye contact. Baz was glaring up at the dorm room window to tell Simon to get back to work. The blond was quickly startled, making him fall backwards off of his desk perch, knocking his head on the stone floor. He yelped and the door opened with a bang. A certain lavender haired witch was standing in the doorway with a worried look.

"Simon? Oh my, Simon what happened?!" Penny gaped at him and Simon smiled up at her sheepishly. He waved.

"Hey Penny."

"Why are you on the floor? Are you hurt? I heard a yell while I was walking up here and you weren't at breakfast."

"I just hit my head on the floor… and I wasn't at breakfast because Baz is forcing me to clean the dorm up after I burst yesterday."

"That seems fair, but how did you hit your head?"

"I was sitting on the desk and I got startled by something outside?"

"Yeah that makes sense… here I'll help you organize a bit!" Penny said happily. Simon got himself off the floor and shrugged. He cautiously motioned to a pile of papers to her left (Knowing Penny she could really do anything to those papers, she could turn them into a rat if she really wanted) which she began to organize. Simon sighed and began to put hia and Baz's books back on the shelf. He felt odd, but also happy for some reason with the slightest hint of gloom. He couldn't quite pinpoint the emotion but he shrugged. He never liked to dwell on stuff like that.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

As Simon finished cleaning the main parts of the room he looked at Penny who was still organizing papers.

"Penny?"

"Yes, Simon?"

"Do you ever feel gloomy and happy at the same time?" Simon asked. Sure he didn't like to dwell on stuff like this but the feeling was lingering in his stomach and chest. It was beginning to annoy him.

"Not particularly… only when Trixie or Agatha are being especially… rude," Penny answered as she set a stack of papers on Simon's desk, "There we go, now time for Baz's papers!"

Simon cringed at Baz's name, figuring he was angry at the black haired vampire for forcing he stay. He began to think. He could leave whenever he wanted but he was still here for some reason. Did he feel guilty? Why was he still here anyways? He mentally groaned and fell on the answer that he was guilty for messing with the dorm again.

"Simon, why are you so red?"

"My stomach and chest feel weird."

"Please don't go off again!" Penny gasped, holding onto Simon's bed sheets for dear life. Simon slowly smiled at her reaction and started to laugh. Penny let out a shaky sigh and smiled at him.

"I'm serious! Simon please it's hard to read your handwriting to organize!"

"I'm not going to go off, Penny. The feeling is… different. It feels like I'm sick to my stomach but lighter… Does that make sense? I dont think it does…"

"Hm… I don't know maybe you should lay down, and I should probably go before Baz comes back. I organized his papers, there wasn't that many," Penny said with a small smile as she sat the small pile of about twenty papers on Baz's desk. Simon nodded to her and she headed towards the door, swishing her cape with a small grin. Simon waved at her again and she looked at him in a caring, mother-like, nature.

"Good luck Simon, I hope you feel better soon."

"Thanks… I hope so too," Simon said, walking back to his bed, which he promptly flopped onto. Penelope sighed and walked out into the hall with a small smile. That boy was truly clueless.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

It had been three hours since Baz had left Simon to clean the room and football practice had finally ended but it had felt like a century to the ebony haired teen. Baz couldn't help feel worried about the worst chosen one ever. He had never left Simon to his own devices this long, except for that one time in first year... and even then he fell down the bloody stairs. Baz groaned at the thought and made his way up the last staircase. He was about to kick the door open before he paused at the noises from inside. It was quiet with the soft sounds of sleepy breathing.

Baz cocked his head to the side in confusion. He figured Simon would still be pissy at him. The ebony haired boy gently opened the door and peered inside to see Simon sitting on the ground by his own bed, head propped on Baz's grey sheets with a small smile. Baz felt heat on his face. There was no way a human could be so adorable just by sleeping, especially Simon bloody Snow. Baz cringed at him and stomped in, slamming the door closed.

Simon jumped at the sudden loud sound that broke him out of his peaceful sleep. He quickly looked around, putting his arms up for defense.

"Snow… what are you doing by my bed?" Baz sneered, feeling gross under his skin.

"Oh… I'm sorry Baz. I guess I got lost in thought and I fell asleep…" Simon trailed off, gulping and making Baz look at him too closely. Baz observed as his throat opened and closed with sudden interest. It seemed to disgust him and make him fawn over the blond for seemingly no reason. Simon looked at the vampire in confusion.

"What? Did I get something on my face?"

"N-no… I think I'm just tired from practice…" Baz replied, stumbling over his words as he dropped his bag by Simon, "You did decent on the room at least."

"Woah. Thanks Baz!" Simon said, shocked Baz would praise him at all. He felt a little warm all over from the complement. Baz rolled his eyes at the blond and made his way to the bathroom to wash himself off. Simon smiled slightly at Baz spun on his heel, making his little ponytail flare. Simon sighed, realizing how bad that weird feeling was.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Baz stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door in disgust. A sneer was plastered on his face and his stomach felt like it was going to implode at any second. He couldn't tell if he was going to puke or cry. He kind of felt like doing both. He clamped an ashy hand over his mouth as he sat on the rim of the bath/shower. He felt every blood vessel and undead intestine in his cold body lurch asa Simon rapped on the door lightly.

"Um… Baz?"

"What do you want?" Baz sniffled, trying to snap at the blond nerd. Simon recoiled.

"Oh my god are you ok?"

"Of course, bloody Snow… get away from the door!" Baz snapped after regaining his composure with a deep breath. Simon frowned on the other side of the door but stepped away anyways with a weak "ok". Baz gave a sigh of relief as he hoisted himself up off of the shower side. He weakly turned on the water and sighed. He had to deal with this every day but for some reason today felt different. It was almost like the years of pent up aggression and tension had all compiled and was now a thick blanket over their already hostile life. The raven haired boy groaned again, slamming his hands onto his eyes in frustration.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Simon sighed and slumped onto his bed in deeper thought than had ever been in before. He listened the water from the shower pitter on for a few minutes. Minutes turned to an hour as the water shut off, startling Simon out of his half sleep like daze. The door slammed open, showing Baz in red pajama pants. He glared at Simon and ran a hand through his hair.

"Baz?"

"What do you want, Snow?"

"I wanted to ask something… but I kind of think you're going to think this is dumb but… Why do you hate me?" Simon asked, aiming his crystal blue eyes at Baz. The vampire's emotion dropped a few levels as he looked at the blond.

"I guess… because I can, and I probably should."

"But why? You don't seem to like it that much and I would much rather if we just got along for once in our lives."

"Well, maybe for one thing you stand up to the mage and you pretty ,much embody everything that that blowhard stands up for. I'm a pitch, Simon. It's in our nature to hate stupid things like this, and even if I did like it I don't think I could describe why."

"...You called me Simon."

"So what if I did? That doesn't even matter you goody two shoes!" Baz snapped. His body felt slightly warmer than usual and his head was hurting. He knew he should probably be out hunting at this hour, but for some reason he didn't feel like it would be smart to walk out at this point. Simon looked up at him, looking slightly dejected and hurt.

"So… you really think I'm exactly like the Mage?"

"Yes! You both are seemingly perfect but both of you accidentally fuck things up more times than I can count for one thing,-" Baz started before getting cut off by Simon putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Well for one thing I don't hate you or any of the Grimms or Pitches. Hell I don't really hate anyone!" Simon started with a small smile, "It seems silly to think about hating you, actually."

"Really…?"

"Yeah… I mean why would I? Sure you are horrible and always plotting my downfall, but I never really can bring myself to hate you. I can't really seem to put my finger on why."

"In all honesty I don't hate you at all, Snow."

"Really?! But- all the plotting, and traps, and trying to kill me…"

"I told you, I was just doing what I thought I was supposed to do. I didn't really love any of it."

"Well then what would you have done instead?! Be my friend?"

"I guess if I got to choose anything… No I wouldn't want to be one of your friends."

"Why?! I thought you said you didn't hate me!"

"I don't!" baz snapped, the whole situation was making him quite flustered. He quickly swatted Simon's now quite tight hand off of his shoulder, "I actually feel… quite the opposite actually!"


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Baz looked down at the now confused and shocked looking Simon. He felt his hand inch slowly towards Simon's. Simon's pearly blue eyes stared up at Baz's dull grey ones with sudden joy and hope. His cold skin felt warm as Simon wrapped his tanned arms around Baz's pale frame. Baz felt very comfortable and embarrassed at the same time.

"Snow?"

"Yes, Baz?"

"What are you doing?"

"Hugging you."

"May I ask why?"

"Why? Do you not like it?"

"No… I guess it's… fine. Just a little unexpected."  
"I told you, I don't hate anyone, and if you don't hate me… well I've wanted to do this for a while."  
"So… wait. Are you into… guys too?" Baz asked with a dull look of hope as he pried Simon away to look at his face. Simon shrugged.

"I never really think about stuff like that, but I- guess? I don't really know. I've liked Agatha, but I also like you a lot too… so, I guess I'd have to say i guess so?"

"How do you just ignore something like that?"

"I don't know, I just do," Simon shrugged again. Baz grumbled and looked as if he was about to lecture Simon to death, making Simon internally groan. Simon placed his hands on Baz's cheeks with a sigh. Baz's eyes widened as Simon slammed their lips together in a very awkward and quick kiss.

"Is that fine?" Simon asked quickly as they pulled away after a few seconds of being lip locked. Baz felt as if he was on fire, erupting from his chest upwards. He meekly nodded at Simon as he stumbled to sit on his bed.

"Baz…? Are you sure that was fine? You look like you're going to pass out or something."

"N-no it's really fine… It's just… I've wanted you to do that for a really long time."

"Really?"

"Yeah…"

"Was it ok?"

"Yeah… you're a really good kisser," Baz complimented with a small smile. Simon

felt heat rising up his face as he grinned at Baz.

"Thanks, Baz," Simon said, grin growing wider, "Wanna go have breakfast with me tomorrow morning?"

"Fine, Simon."

"You called me Simon!"

The End


	9. Chapter 9

Epilogue

Simon smiled into Baz's kiss happily, feeling his chest erupt in heat. His eyes widened and he moved his hands from Baz's hair to his shoulders, pushing him away quickly. Baz looked at him with a glare.

"What the bloody hell Simon?!"

"I… feel like if I don't cast a spell I might explode."

"Uh… do it? I'd rather you not explode!"

"Please don't be mad… _**Take it away!**_ " Simon meekly said with his wand pointed to a pile of papers. The spell did inevitably work, chucking the papers out the window. The room around Simon swirled as Simon felt his skin heat up.

Baz yelped and ran into the bathroom, shutting the door. Simon plopped himself on the floor, looking at the wreckage of "the second tornado Snow". His bed had been overthrown and the desks were stacked on top of one another. Baz's mattress was on the ground and his book was on fire, which Simon quickly stamped out.

"Baz…?"

"Did you blow the room up again?"

"Yeah…"

"It's late, how are the beds? Habitable for the night?"

"Well yours is," Simon replied, heaving Baz's mattress onto its frame, "I can sleep on the floor for the night…"

"Oh come on Snow, it can't be that bad," Baz said, strolling out of the bathroom. He immediately stopped, looking at the room.

"I fixed your bed…"

"Th-thank you. Oh Crowley this is the worst one yet."

"I can fix it tomorrow."

"I guess I'll help… but for the night you might as well sleep… in my bed," Baz said, slightly more concerned with the room being exploded, "Shit was a library book!"

"I'm sorry!"


End file.
